Something that makes you cry
More than anything, hate makes me cry. I see it everywhere I go, unfortunately. I experience it a lot of places I go, also. Hate ruins lives. Hate kills. Hate creates more and more problems every day.
The intolerance in the world literally makes me cry. To say anyone is lesser than anyone else on the simple basis of who they are is appalling. Gay, straight, black, white, heavy set, poor, religious, old, young, female, male, differently abled, American, Chinese, intelligent, or not… it doesn’t mean you are worth more or less than anybody. You do not have the right to condemn anyone. None of us are second class citizens because we dare to be who we are. In fact, I’d say that we are some of the bravest in the world. If you have the courage to be who you are in spite of how the world treats you, then you are a head above the rest. I don’t care who you are. BE who you are and love who you are.
Intolerance will continue to try to strike you down. It will continue to make you cry, as it does me, but you have to realize that intolerance is by no means the end-all be-all. Those who discriminate are in the minority and for every bigot yelling “Faggot” across the street, you can find 100 people who will welcome you with open arms and love you for exactly who you are.
Keep on keeping on, my friends. I love you all exactly as you are.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Day 23
Something that makes you feel better
Cuddling with Shannon. And my dogs.
Eating grapes, red or green, it doesn’t matter.
Getting my back rubbed.
Eating ice cream.
Curling up with Alvin, the cutest cat ever.
Listening to music that reflects my emotions.
Drinking ice cold water when I’m really hot.
Reminding myself that I have the love of the most amazing person I know.
Putting on a sweater fresh from the dryer.
Watching a movie I know all the lines to.
Pretending Marg Helgenberger and Jorja Fox are actually dating.
Playing with my brother.
Talking about having kids with Shannon.
Seeing a student finally understand the curriculum.
Finishing an essay.
Waking up and seeing a bright shiny day.
Sleeping.
Thinking.
Loving.
Realizing my favorite food is on sale.
Being dismissed from my history lecture.
Going to Kayamandi.
Learning things.
Crying it all out, no matter how silly or stupid it may be.
Realizing that everything, EVERYthing, is gonna be okay.
Cuddling with Shannon. And my dogs.
Eating grapes, red or green, it doesn’t matter.
Getting my back rubbed.
Eating ice cream.
Curling up with Alvin, the cutest cat ever.
Listening to music that reflects my emotions.
Drinking ice cold water when I’m really hot.
Reminding myself that I have the love of the most amazing person I know.
Putting on a sweater fresh from the dryer.
Watching a movie I know all the lines to.
Pretending Marg Helgenberger and Jorja Fox are actually dating.
Playing with my brother.
Talking about having kids with Shannon.
Seeing a student finally understand the curriculum.
Finishing an essay.
Waking up and seeing a bright shiny day.
Sleeping.
Thinking.
Loving.
Realizing my favorite food is on sale.
Being dismissed from my history lecture.
Going to Kayamandi.
Learning things.
Crying it all out, no matter how silly or stupid it may be.
Realizing that everything, EVERYthing, is gonna be okay.
Day 22
Something that upsets you
I’m trying to decide whether to be serious or make a joke here. However, I just spotted that the prompt after the next one is very similar to this, so I’m going to go with funny instead.
One of my HUGEST pet peeves is annoying noises. It’s almost funny how much certain noises drive me insane. Scratching, sniffling, whispering especially, ticking… they drive me up the wall.
My sister had eczema when we were kids and we shared a bedroom. At night, I could hear her scratching her stomach and it kept me away. As an upperclassmen in high school, my bedroom was right next to the kitchen and there was something (to this day I don’t know what it was) that would emit this little, almost inaudible clicking noise some nights. I would stay up for hours searching for the source of this noise because it made me want to pull out my hair. My sophomore year in college, I was up writing a paper one night and someone’s car alarm started going off, which even for a minute annoys me. However, it proceeded to go off for the next eight hours. EIGHT HOURS. I got a terrible grade on that paper and I didn’t sleep at all that night. I was plotting ways to find out who owned the car and graffiti her door or something equally juvenile. I was basically a zombie the next day. A very neurotic, nearly-insane zombie.
Whispering of any kind when I’m trying to read or sleep frustrates me. I’d rather they just talk in normal voices. Music when I’m trying to read or sleep also annoys me. I HATE the fridge buzz and I can’t stand the hum of a computer if I’m not using it. Noises are my thing…
I’m trying to decide whether to be serious or make a joke here. However, I just spotted that the prompt after the next one is very similar to this, so I’m going to go with funny instead.
One of my HUGEST pet peeves is annoying noises. It’s almost funny how much certain noises drive me insane. Scratching, sniffling, whispering especially, ticking… they drive me up the wall.
My sister had eczema when we were kids and we shared a bedroom. At night, I could hear her scratching her stomach and it kept me away. As an upperclassmen in high school, my bedroom was right next to the kitchen and there was something (to this day I don’t know what it was) that would emit this little, almost inaudible clicking noise some nights. I would stay up for hours searching for the source of this noise because it made me want to pull out my hair. My sophomore year in college, I was up writing a paper one night and someone’s car alarm started going off, which even for a minute annoys me. However, it proceeded to go off for the next eight hours. EIGHT HOURS. I got a terrible grade on that paper and I didn’t sleep at all that night. I was plotting ways to find out who owned the car and graffiti her door or something equally juvenile. I was basically a zombie the next day. A very neurotic, nearly-insane zombie.
Whispering of any kind when I’m trying to read or sleep frustrates me. I’d rather they just talk in normal voices. Music when I’m trying to read or sleep also annoys me. I HATE the fridge buzz and I can’t stand the hum of a computer if I’m not using it. Noises are my thing…
Day 21
Another Moment
There have been a lot of great moments in my relationship that are more than noteworthy. I’ve been blessed with the love of someone that is completely extraordinary in the best ways, and I am grateful for every day that she loves me. However, there is one particular moment that I want to share with you.
It was a perfect day. I don’t recall what we did in the morning, whether either of us had work or anything like that, but I remember that we had an amazing day. We spent the majority of it together, playing with the girls (Bailey and Kahlua, our adorable whippet mixes for those of you who don’t know) and watching a movie or two. Shannon made amazing homemade chicken noodle soup from a chicken we bought at the Co-op. We decided to go on a dog walk as the weather was pretty good and the girls needed a walk. Kaiser was at Erik’s (Erik is our mutual
friend and Kaiser is his 3 (4?) year old son) and since we lived close to Erik’s, we wanted to walk over there to bring Kaiser some soup. The walk was great. When we got to Erik’s, I stayed outside with the dogs and Shannon went in to give him the soup. We finished out walk and when we got home, I really had to pee, but Shannon beat me to the bathroom, so I waited awkwardly near the door. When she came out, she was surprised I was so close to the door. I noticed she had a ring in her hand.
“Will you marry me?”
I was definitely not expecting this, as we discussing getting engaged much later and I thought I’d be the one to propose first. I was so surprised that instead of instantly saying “Yes” (which, obviously, was my answer), I said “Are you serious?” instead. Once I fully grasped the situation, I said “Yes, yes! Of course!” and she slid the ring onto my finger. I cried. She cried. We sat down on the floor in the hallway and called the girls to us. We told them that their mommies were going to get married. It was perfect.
I later found out that Shannon had been storing the ring at Erik’s for weeks and had an entirely different plan. However, due to the perfect day we had, she felt like it was the right moment (and it was) and she thought up an excuse to go to Erik’s. This is also why she wanted me to stay outside with the dogs. It was a perfect day.
And that’s the story about how Shannon and I got engaged.
There have been a lot of great moments in my relationship that are more than noteworthy. I’ve been blessed with the love of someone that is completely extraordinary in the best ways, and I am grateful for every day that she loves me. However, there is one particular moment that I want to share with you.
It was a perfect day. I don’t recall what we did in the morning, whether either of us had work or anything like that, but I remember that we had an amazing day. We spent the majority of it together, playing with the girls (Bailey and Kahlua, our adorable whippet mixes for those of you who don’t know) and watching a movie or two. Shannon made amazing homemade chicken noodle soup from a chicken we bought at the Co-op. We decided to go on a dog walk as the weather was pretty good and the girls needed a walk. Kaiser was at Erik’s (Erik is our mutual
friend and Kaiser is his 3 (4?) year old son) and since we lived close to Erik’s, we wanted to walk over there to bring Kaiser some soup. The walk was great. When we got to Erik’s, I stayed outside with the dogs and Shannon went in to give him the soup. We finished out walk and when we got home, I really had to pee, but Shannon beat me to the bathroom, so I waited awkwardly near the door. When she came out, she was surprised I was so close to the door. I noticed she had a ring in her hand.“Will you marry me?”
I was definitely not expecting this, as we discussing getting engaged much later and I thought I’d be the one to propose first. I was so surprised that instead of instantly saying “Yes” (which, obviously, was my answer), I said “Are you serious?” instead. Once I fully grasped the situation, I said “Yes, yes! Of course!” and she slid the ring onto my finger. I cried. She cried. We sat down on the floor in the hallway and called the girls to us. We told them that their mommies were going to get married. It was perfect.
I later found out that Shannon had been storing the ring at Erik’s for weeks and had an entirely different plan. However, due to the perfect day we had, she felt like it was the right moment (and it was) and she thought up an excuse to go to Erik’s. This is also why she wanted me to stay outside with the dogs. It was a perfect day.
And that’s the story about how Shannon and I got engaged.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Day 20
This Month
Well, it's September.
This month marks the half-way point for my time in Africa. I'm officially on the downhill side.
It's been interesting. I'm already settled, and I won't be leaving soon, so this month has been marked by constancy. I've met many new friends, gotten to know older ones, and have continued to grow as a human and as an African. I've learned that I don't like Stellenbosch as much as I thought I did, and I much prefer Kayamandi and Lynedoch (though I've only been to the latter once). There is too much polarization here, and Stellenbosch represents the side of the battle I'd rather not be on.
This month I:
- Tackled a mountain
- Learned about formulas to calculate poverty
- Cut my own hair
- Learned to trust myself in more ways
- Opened myself up to hurt
- Made some good friends
- Found new muscles I was unaware of
- Cried in front of people
- Let people cry in front of me
- Succumbed to Glee
- Laughed. HARD.
- Taught a kid what culture is
- Seen hope in the eyes of the presumed hopeless
- Danced
- LIVED.
I don't know what's going to happen over the remaining 11 days of this month, but I hope they're as awesome as the first 20.
Well, it's September.
This month marks the half-way point for my time in Africa. I'm officially on the downhill side.
It's been interesting. I'm already settled, and I won't be leaving soon, so this month has been marked by constancy. I've met many new friends, gotten to know older ones, and have continued to grow as a human and as an African. I've learned that I don't like Stellenbosch as much as I thought I did, and I much prefer Kayamandi and Lynedoch (though I've only been to the latter once). There is too much polarization here, and Stellenbosch represents the side of the battle I'd rather not be on.
This month I:
- Tackled a mountain
- Learned about formulas to calculate poverty
- Cut my own hair
- Learned to trust myself in more ways
- Opened myself up to hurt
- Made some good friends
- Found new muscles I was unaware of
- Cried in front of people
- Let people cry in front of me
- Succumbed to Glee
- Laughed. HARD.
- Taught a kid what culture is
- Seen hope in the eyes of the presumed hopeless
- Danced
- LIVED.
I don't know what's going to happen over the remaining 11 days of this month, but I hope they're as awesome as the first 20.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Day 19
Something You Regret
That's kind of tricky because I try to live my life the same way Catherine Willows does; never doubt, never look back.
What is the point of having regrets? You can't change the past. You can only move forward and learn from your experiences. If you lived through something horrible, you shouldn't regret it, you should celebrate the fact that you'll (hopefully) never make that mistake again. For example, I could regret the fact that I failed to put sunscreen on every hour, or I can be glad to know that the South African sun is harsher than the American one and I won't get another sunburn if I'm smart about it. Regretting isn't going to take my sunburn away (though I wish it would, my neck is killing me).
I think it's easy to dwell on the things we wish hadn't happened. It's easy to talk about the things that went wrong because trying to figure out what to do now can sometimes be hard.
Plus, who's to say that if I hadn't been a total dork and worn red jeans to school in 7th grade that I would have gotten the opportunity to meet the love of my life? What if I had been cool? You never know where I'd be now. Serving fries at a local McDonald's maybe. Regretting is a dangerous business. I'd rather stay out of it.
That's kind of tricky because I try to live my life the same way Catherine Willows does; never doubt, never look back.
What is the point of having regrets? You can't change the past. You can only move forward and learn from your experiences. If you lived through something horrible, you shouldn't regret it, you should celebrate the fact that you'll (hopefully) never make that mistake again. For example, I could regret the fact that I failed to put sunscreen on every hour, or I can be glad to know that the South African sun is harsher than the American one and I won't get another sunburn if I'm smart about it. Regretting isn't going to take my sunburn away (though I wish it would, my neck is killing me).
I think it's easy to dwell on the things we wish hadn't happened. It's easy to talk about the things that went wrong because trying to figure out what to do now can sometimes be hard.
Plus, who's to say that if I hadn't been a total dork and worn red jeans to school in 7th grade that I would have gotten the opportunity to meet the love of my life? What if I had been cool? You never know where I'd be now. Serving fries at a local McDonald's maybe. Regretting is a dangerous business. I'd rather stay out of it.
Day 18
Your Favorite Birthday
Hmm...
I think my favorite birthday was my 21st. You may think it's only because I could drink, but you're wrong. It was my favorite for a few reasons, all of which more significant than simply drinking.
1) I could finally go out with my girlfriend when she hung out with her (and our) friends at a bar. It REALLY sucked to drop them off and have to go home, then get a phone call and have to go pick them up. I felt left out.
2) I got to celebrate it. The VAST majority of my other birthdays weren't really celebrated, so I enjoyed that.
3) I no longer had to worry about MIPs.
4) I got to spend my birthday with Shannon.
Hmm...
I think my favorite birthday was my 21st. You may think it's only because I could drink, but you're wrong. It was my favorite for a few reasons, all of which more significant than simply drinking.
1) I could finally go out with my girlfriend when she hung out with her (and our) friends at a bar. It REALLY sucked to drop them off and have to go home, then get a phone call and have to go pick them up. I felt left out.
2) I got to celebrate it. The VAST majority of my other birthdays weren't really celebrated, so I enjoyed that.
3) I no longer had to worry about MIPs.
4) I got to spend my birthday with Shannon.
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